A German doctor has published a research paper which will delight the hearts of 20-year-old X-Box addicts everywhere.
Dr. Michael Linden, head of the psychiatric clinic at the Free University of Berlin, delivered a paper to the World Congress on Psychosomatic Medicine claiming that laborophobia is “a genuine medical disorder which doctors have overlooked until now.”
Laborophobia is an irrational fear of work which manifests itself in panic attacks, hypochondriac fears, post-traumatic stress, or work-related social anxieties. According to Dr. Linden, fear that your boss is intentionally burdening you with inhuman workloads and impossible deadlines is one sign of possible laborophobia. Linden estimates that as many as half of all workers on long-term sick leave may show symptoms of the disorder.
My prediction: It won’t be long until the government, for fear of discrimination lawsuits, is paying “laborophobics” to stay home and play video games. In fact, I’m considering filing a lawsuit against one of my former bosses whose “inhuman workloads and impossible deadlines” must certainly have caused the onset of my own laborophobia disorder.